pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
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