My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
