she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
