Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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