he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
