I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
