I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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