I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
sex in a hospital.. check
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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