What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
