just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
