and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize