Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
