So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
