Swine flu. Run for my life!
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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