You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
its liver damage thursday
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
