Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
