dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize