Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
