i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize