she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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