she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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