that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
