you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
