Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize