i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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