Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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