Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I came so hard my ears popped.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
