She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
