Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
