Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
