I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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