Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
