She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
