I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Four minutes until I can fart!
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
