I'm so fucking centered right now
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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