He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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