on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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