There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
