So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
