I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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