and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
