went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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