Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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