I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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