I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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