therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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