her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
