A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
