Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
