I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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