if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
