It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize