I wannas sexs uuuuu
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
