based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
