somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
