it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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