If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
