The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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