I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize