Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
