It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
