i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
