I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
