like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
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