therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
