That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize