never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
