my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
