planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
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