I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
