she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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