Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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