That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
