Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
