She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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