Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
