Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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