you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
